• Clare

In which I get into a quarrel on eBay

Life is difficult enough at the moment, without some eejit spouting forth on eBay. Fear not, karma reigned in the end...

I mentioned briefly in a recent post about my love of eBay. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that I'm addicted. My general experience with eBay has been very positive. I've not been a member for very long, maybe 18 months or so, but I had yet to experience a rude buyer, until a few weeks ago...

It all started when I put up two electric toothbrush chargers for sale. There was nothing wrong with either of them, but every member of our household has an electric toothbrush, which means 4 chargers! At the time, I was doing a cull of the crap drawer in the kitchen (you know the one with all the useless shite in it; a mobile from 2004, radiator keys, swimming goggles, an allen key for God knows what, an old shilling, biscuit crumbs, etc.) and I decided that 4 toothbrush chargers was a bit excessive. I declared that we would keep one master charger and a back-up, for emergencies. We only have one bloody shaving adapter plug anyway, so even though the Husband curses me when we're all trying to charge our toothbrushes at the same time, it's not my fault.

After publishing my listings, I received this message from a buyer: "Does this item work 100 percent, because if it doesn't, I shall return this immediately!" This tone got my back up slightly. Now, I know you should never read into someone's tone over a text, because, let's face it, there isn't any intonation, it's just words; but I took this to be a rude affront none the less. Why not open with a more polite "Hello, is this item in good working order please?" or "Can I ask why you're selling this item please?" Not an immediate threat, to which I replied "Yes, all in good working order. Just have far too many of these chargers at home". The buyer seemed satisfied with this explanation and successfully placed the highest bid in the auction.

After a couple of days waiting for payment, I sent a polite generic eBay reminder to my buyer. Another five days and I still hadn't received any payment, so I sent another polite reminder: "Hello, I'm hoping to go to the Post Office on Friday to post a bunch of parcels. Would you mind paying for your item before then, so that I can dispatch it along with the others. I'm trying to only go out on errands once a week at the moment in adherence with the current Government guidelines. So, if I can't post your item this Friday, it will have to be when I go again next week". I also sent this message to another buyer who responded "Thank you for your message. Glad you told me about the dispatch. Would have been gutted if I'd had to wait another week. Apologies for late payment: will pay now. Thanks again." Lovely buyer! Couldn't have been more pleased with her response. No reply from the other buyer, but at least he did pay up.

I headed down to the Post Office that Friday. I parked outside at 9am when I expected them to open. It was Good Friday and I had forgotten! The Post Office was closed. Bugger! I arrived back home within five minutes. "That was quick!" said the Husband. "Forgot it was a Bank Holiday" I mumbled. "Wally!" I ignored him and sent a grovelling message to my buyers. "Apologies, I completely forgot today was a Bank Holiday. My mind is in such a muddle. I'm not going to work at the moment, so completely lost track of the days." Some sent an understanding reply, some didn't. The buyer of the toothbrush charger sent this:

"You have a similar item on sale right now (remember I mentioned I was selling two out of the four). I hope it's not my item. So I have to wait! I tell you and eBay this, I will never buy anything on eBay again, it's a bloody joke! Ok, you've got until the 18th, then I will have my money back. Thank you very much for the excellent service. You forgot hhhmmmffff after pestering me for payment so you could go to the Post Office, then you forgot! I'm sure you're very busy during the lockdown. Lololololololol"

How rude! It was a genuine mistake! Everyone else seemed okay with my little faux pas, so why wasn't he? Yes, I can see that it would be irritating to receive two payment reminders about an item, only for the seller not to dispatch them for another four days. Needless to say, I didn't quantify this with a reply.

The following day I received another message:

"Delivery address changed, seeing as you have not posted this item yet, could you please address to ....... Thank you very much."

And another message:

"Hi, please be advised that the delivery address for this item is actually ......... Not ........ and I have cancelled my old address and changed it on eBay. I haven't used eBay in ages."

And then:

"I do apologise for the change of address; I only moved a week ago and forgot to change my address on eBay. Considering you haven't posted this item yet, it shouldn't be a problem. If you have any issues with this, then I would just like my money back please and you can sell the item to someone else. Thank you."

I was so tempted to reply "HHHHMMMMFFFFF. Forgot you moved house did you?!?! I'm sure you've been equally busy during lockdown! LOLOLOLOLOL," but I refrained. I felt like him having to admit his mistake was justice enough.

A few days later I received two final messages:

"Hi good afternoon, just wondering which address you sent that charger to please? Was it ...... or .......? Lol" To which I sent a simple, one worded reply.

"That's perfect thank you. Sorry about the mess around, as soon as it comes I'll do you a top-notch feedback. Thanks"


Have you experienced any quarrels on eBay such as this one? Have there been any memorable moments when you've been able to say "ha" to someone? Leave me a comment below.

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#eBay #argument #karma #justdesserts #funny #humour #unfiltered #funnyblog #funnyblogposts #funnyblogsite

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