• Clare

In which I have to start making an effort

So, after three and a half long months of being stuck at home, I now find myself on the brink of going back to work. Trouble is, I've gotten used to the Waynetta Slob look. Can I even remember which end of an eyeshadow brush to hold anymore?

So, this has been my hair and makeup routine since lockdown begun: have shower, wash face, moisturise, dry fringe with Babyliss Big Hair; any delay in this step either results in a fringe that bends in all directions, or one that hangs so low it pokes me in the eye at inopportune moments, like when I'm driving! Hair twirled up in a quick manoeuvre, and secured with a Bulldog/Claw clip; no mirror required, and I'm good for the day.

Oh, how I'll miss this simplicity, when, on Sunday, I must face the public for the first time! The Husband moans that I always take far too long in the mornings getting ready. Although it pains me to admit it, he might actually be right. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed the freedom of just washing, and going. It has been liberating. I was never one to pile on so much war paint that the Husband would do a double take at bedtime, just to check he was getting under the covers with the right woman; but I definitely wore enough to make myself feel presentable. In fact, people who don't know me very well, do tend to ask me if I'm quite well, when they see me without my slap! Just a small amount usually does me: primer, foundation, concealer, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, blusher, lipstick.... you know, just a quick sweep over! I do like to keep it looking reasonably natural though; no lurid green eyeliner, or florescent lipstick for me. Although, I do own a rather alarming coral shade, that I wear when I'm feeling very brave. It's called 'blushing tulip', which I never really felt did justice to the vividness of this shocking hue.

And then there's the hair. It has a mind of its own. I've had to have many a firm word with it in the mornings. I usually only wash it on days that I have been for a run. Partly because the whole rigmarole of doing it is so long winded, and partly because it would be insane to go out in public without washing it! I don't even like the feeling of sitting at my own dining table to refuel, whilst feeling sweat dripping from my ponytail, and trailing down my neck like a cold, slithery worm. So, it's a thorough wash, and then up to the bedroom to blast with the hairdryer, whilst my head is turned upside down, like a Grunger in the Mosh Pit! Next, on to straightening. I don't like my hair poker straight. Just enough of a going over that it behaves itself. All strands must be beaten into submission with an intense, searing heat to remind them not to frizz up! My hair is so unruly that it later begins to curl around my shoulders, which is the way I like it, and the way my hairdresser envisions it when she cuts it. I'd like to think it's a bit Duchess of Cambridge-esque. (At least, that's the image I have in my mind.)

So, have I missed all this palaver? I have to say, I miss the enjoyment I get from putting on a bit of lippie. It cheers me up, and makes me feel better about myself. It makes me feel a bit more polished, and ready to face the day. I'm not a mad hoarder of makeup. Believe it or not, I tend to stick to just a few shades. Will I miss not doing my hair? Hell, yes! I absolutely detest the whole process of it, and consider myself very lucky that I can get away with a little bit of sloppiness where maintenance is concerned. I'd be tempted to tie it up more often, if my jaw wasn't so square that I look like an androgynous eighties' throwback. Although, if it worked for Annie Lennox...

Have you stopped wearing makeup and doing your hair during lockdown? Or have you had to keep up appearances for virtual meeting? Or indeed, had to carry on working? Let me know in the comments section below.

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#hairandbeauty #lockdownhair #lockdownmakeup #makeupfree #funny #humour #unfiltered #honest #funnyblog #funnyblogposts #funnyblogsite

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